The Landlord of Carfax Abbey




This story is dedicated to Basil Grimsby.

The following envelope and letter contained therein was found along with the many estate items of the Landlord of Carfax Abbey. The late Lord Richard Ainsworth of Whitby, Yorkshire England.

The Author of this article  transcribed the letter published here.

monster letter

monster letter page

The Lanlord of Carfax Abbey
Date 01 October 1910

A Letter to Reginald Emsworth From Lord Richard Ainsworth. Whitby, Yorkshire England 1910.

Dear Reginald;
Many thanks for writing. I was bloody surprised to hear from you. I cherish the
memories of our time in Africa with the 24th a foot. God rest our commrades who
perished at Islawanda. I am indeed curious as to the interest of your London
brokerage in the land at Carfax Abbey. As you probably know, you are not the
first Land Agent or brokerage to show interest in the ancient abbey and the
land on which it sits. I believe it was 1897 when I was approached to sell
the old abbey by another London Land Agent. His name was Mr. Renfield. He
was an old friend of the family. His story is a sad one because he died
a few years back in an lunatic asylum. A death which I believe was a direct result of his
involvement with the sale of the abbey and its land to a man of royalty,
who’s origin is connected to an old warrior class from the Carpathian Mountains
of Transylvania. A Count, by the name of Dracula. He was a member of an old family
who were members of the Order of The Dragon. They fought against the Ottoman Turks.
I learned this from visiting Mr. Renfield in the asylum. He was a man of some repute.
Though when I last saw him alive, he was a raving lunatic.
He howled like an animal, ate cockroaches from floor of
his cell and raved on about his master. I do not exactly know
who his master was, but his master caused Renfield great fear.

Two years later I was approached by another Land Agent Jonathan Harker
who was a colleague of Mr. Renfield from the same brokerage. Harker was a good
business man. He is bloody honest. Mr.Harker was assigned by the brokerage to assume
Mr. Renfields role to finalize the sale of Carfax Abbey to the the Count in Transylvania.
Harker disappeared for nearly two years. But his client, the Count Dracula, arrived here by
ship. Rumor had it that most of the crew of this ship was missing or dead upon arrival.

I met the Count briefly as he arrived at the abbey and I watched as several crates
of his baggage were taken into the abbey. I only saw the Count at night time, and while
he was well mannered, well dressed and well spoken, I could not help but think he
starred at me in an odd romantic way. As if he wanted to take me to dinner.
I have a sixth sense about these things.

Things got bloody weird a few weeks after the arrival of the count at Carfax. I saw strange glowing lights
at night, heard the howl of wolves and even saw a large animal run down the road from here.
I found this quite odd, as wolves have not been seen in this place for many years, and
that hound that was terrorizing the Baskerville Manner thing was cleared up by a detective from London by the name
of Sherlock Holmes. I also heard rumors of small pets disappearing in the area. I spoke to a close neighbor,
Margaret Beckwith. As fond as I am of the old woman, and her fifty cats. I thought she was daft
when she told me that she was being stalked by a strange man who wore a black cape
and displayed his fangs to her at night time. I thought that her life of cats and cognac had finally
crept upon her.

Then late one night I saw a great commotion around the old abbey and I rushed out in my night clothes
with my trusty rifle. I saw a large fire, heard howling dogs, screaming women and several men running about carrying
hammers and wooden stakes. At first I thought it was a large barbeque. But I froze in my tracks when I saw a huge hairy
beast on two legs dashing towards me. I leveled my rifle at this devilish animal and pulled the trigger.
As the cloud of gun smoke cleared, I was shocked to realize that my Enfield rifle had no effect. Considering all of my past combat experiences in the battle of Islawanda and seeing Zulu warriors falling to the ground after being shot by rifle fire. I failed to understand what I was dealing with. I heard a loud noise of breaking sticks and saw two dark figures hot on the trail of the hairy beast. I thought I was done for, when I realized that one of these people was Jonathan Harker. He was in the company
of a strange old man who Harker quickly introduced as Dr.Van Helsing. He told me that it would be best if I went back to my home and locked all the doors and shutters and further… To smear the windows and door frames with garlic. I quickly
deduced that, one.. I had no garlic anywhere in the house, two that I wanted to believe that Harker was insane, and three, that I had no intention of going back to my house when so much excitement was a foot. I then decided to join Harker and Van Helsing in the pursuit of the hairy animal.

We searched for the hairy beast for several hours through a wood located around that abbey. During our search, Harker and Van Helsing
explained that the hairy beast, was an evil incarnation of the count from the Carpathians, Count Dracula. It seems that Count
was unfortunately a vampire who could change his appearence into more than one type of beast from a werewolfe to a bat, and that he had three wives who were also vampires. They hunted unsuspecting humans and small animals by night and slept in the abbey by day. By the sound of their living arrangments it reminded me a lot of my first wife, except that my wife slept during the day because of her liquor habit, and she sucked my bank account dry. All I had left after our divorce was four quarts of blood.. I was begining to wonder if the Count had it better than I did.

We searched for Dracula through the night. But it was obvious that he had elluded us and daylight was fast approaching. Harker explained that Dracula would need to return to Carfax abbey. This is because the huge crates of baggage that I mentioned in this letter were actually crates of soil from Transylvania. Soil in which Dracula and his three wives would sleep in during the day. As daylight broke we walked into the old ruins and located the crates. I watched as Van Helsing opened the crate in which Dracula had secreted himself and as he put the stake to his chest. I stopped him, saying “Excuse me Dr. Van Helsing… But is this necessary? I know that Dracula is a pain in the neck. And now he is exhausted from a long night and pretty dead on his feet. But a stake through the heart”? Van Helsing asked, do you have a better solution? I then said to him.. You know, he’s had the same three wives for four hundred years and they never took him to divorce court. In bewilderment Van Helsing slowly lowered the stake to his side and backed away. Later in the day, Harker and Van Helsing had the crates removed from the old abbey and I never saw either of them again.

Your Obedient Servant



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